I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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