I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
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