he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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