Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
