Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
