But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
