i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
