A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
this boner is exhausting
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
