I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
