Where is the hickey?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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