Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she looked like the before picture.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
