please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It's rum buckets o'clock
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
