I'm eating all of the evidence.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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