I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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