I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
