Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
