Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
