it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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