So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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