i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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