We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
