the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
