he thought i was a dude.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
