yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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