I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
