I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
