We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
sex in a hospital.. check
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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