She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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