so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
