Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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