I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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