mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
