hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
