GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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