Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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