I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
