dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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