check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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