You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
