And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
