He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
