if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
