can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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