escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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