Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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