My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Send help, water and tortillas.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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