I think I just saw someone hide a body.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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