Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
