Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
farters have to be the big spoon...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
