I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
